A Song for Alexandra
by GEORGEXXX
Summary: Mark awakes in the forest the morning after the accident. This is a revised version of my earlier stories, now in the form of a single three-chapter story. Rating for chapter 1 is M; chapters 2 & 3 are rated T.
1. Chapter 1

Part One: _**Birdsong**_

Mark slowly opened his eyes… he was hearing something… what was it? Background noise? No, it was much more distinct than that… the light was hurting his eyes…Suddenly, he just _knew _what the sound was…It was birdsong.

Birds? _Where am I?_, he wondered…the light was hurting his eyes… And he couldn't remember… Ah, yes. Birds. Birdsongs. _Lexie loved birds_, he remembered…_Where am I? _Birdsong kept coming from the trees. _Trees? _Trees were all around…Mark felt that something was moving him. Suddenly he felt the pain in his chest, the crushing pain in his chest…and the headache…_and those damn birds_, and their birdsongs. _Lexie was the one who loved birds_…Lexie…

Mark now remembered where he was. He was in a stretcher, being carried towards…what? _A helicopter?_ Funny how he could hear the birds from the trees with all this racket…Lexie…_Where is Lexie? _Ah…Lexie was dead. His dear Lexie was dead. _Dead and gone_, Mark suddenly thought. _Lexie is dead and nothing matters. Nothing at all. _He felt dead. _I want to die_, he thought. He thought of Callie, Arizona and Sofia…Meredith…_And where is Derek? _Where was Arizona, who had told him that she was "waiting for him"? What did that even mean? Sure, they were friends now, but still… And who was he waiting for, he wondered? Why, _Lexie, of course_.

His Lexie. His dead Lexie. His dead girlfr…_She wasn't even my girlfriend_, he thought bitterly. _What happened to her body?_ He wondered. He couldn't leave Lexie in that dark, dank hole where her broken body was laid. "Her body…" he managed to stammer out…"They've taken care of it, Mark" He heard Derek's voice as through a fog…"Don't talk anymore, please. Stay calm. You have major trauma to your chest and you need surgery _ASAP…_Rest"

_Rest?_ Lexie was dead; her body, lifeless, lying in a cold, cold slab…He couldn't think anymore…He felt like screaming, like crying out over the screeching noises of those damn birds Lexie loved so much, and the helicopter…God, the headache was killing him! Lexie was dead and _nothing_ mattered…Well, _Sofia matters_, he thought. He could put on a little show for his darling little girl, no? He could live life for her, no? A Ghost of a shell of a man; a walking Shadow, living on for his daughter, all the while wishing he was dead. _Dead like Lexie_, he thought. Dead like the love of his life.

_She knew. _He thought. _She must have known...R__ight?_ He had hopelessly told her again and again that he loved her; as her eyes grew dimmer, darker...and life finally left her broken body…_I hope she believed me_, he thought. _She wanted desperately to believe me..."__Meant to be"_, _she said_. What a laugh! He'd wasted so much precious time with her…_ Thank you for your candor_, he'd said. She had poured out her heart to him, just as he'd always wished, and he'd said _thank you for your candor_…

_I should have kissed her right there, as she stood, so cute_…He should have just ravished her over and over on the spot, whispering sweet little love nothings to her pretty ear..._Too late now_, he thought. Lexie was dead, dead and gone; his Lexie was dead. _My heart is dead_…_I love you, my_ _love..._Mark imagined that he was touching Lexie's lovely dark tresses one last time; he was desperately trying to hold on to the image of her smile, her eyes, her voice; her warm breath against his skin…but Lexie's smiling visage swiftly disappeared into the void, replaced by a cold body with lifeless eyes... He was thus lost to the darkness of his thoughts; bereft of all hope..._Why Lex?...Why did you leave me all alone?_ He thought, as his consciousness surrendered to oblivion.

* * *

Mark opened his eyes with a startled start…the light was hurting his eyes…they slowly focused on a lovely raven-haired beauty in front of him. She had a furrowed brow in…concentration? Or was that possibly, concern? Over him? _Surely not_, thought Mark. _She looks lovely_. Mark suddenly realized who it was that was looking at him so intently. It was Lexie.

Lexie was alive, and unhurt. And she was looking at him…

"Mark, the plane's here! We're in Boise…"

"Lex?"

"Mark, you were having some sort of dream…I heard you whimpering"

"Lexie?"

"We need to get on with it, Mark! Let's get off the plane. Derek is waiting for me…"

"Lexie, you're OK?"

"Why wouldn't I be OK?"

"Lex, I…I love you"

"Huh?"

"I love you"

"_Thank you for your candor_" she said, holding a bitter laugh. "We need to get to the surgeries, Mark."

And with that retort, Lexie turned around in a huff and stepped off the plane. Mark lingered in his seat, too stunned for words…_Lexie is alive?_

He'd had a dream. A horrible nightmare that had crushed all his hopes and ripped his heart and soul from his beating chest. He felt that the oppressive anguish and anger that had crushed his chest for what felt was too damn long was lifted; he felt some _hope_ again. _OK Lex, let's get to the surgeries!_ He thought, rushing excitedly after her.

They had stayed overnight in Boise for a layover at a local motel after an exhausting day of non-stop surgeries…And they weren't done, they still had work for a couple more days, at least…

Mark stood now before Lexie's door for what felt like an eternity, wondering what he could possibly say…_I dreamt you were dead and now I want you_…It sounded ridiculous, even in his head…He knocked…

"What do you want Mark? I'm tired..._and_ sleepy and..."

"I…I need you, Lex…"

"Mark, I…"

Mark assaulted Lexie's mouth while his hands roamed her supple body. Lexie moaned, initially in protest, but soon surrendered to Mark's ardor and resolve. And Lexie's passion, which had been simmered down and repressed since her humiliating little speech to him a couple of days before, suddenly erupted violently before his advances. Mark latched on to her body like a crazed, starving man…He ripped Lexie's pants and panties off and suddenly took her, standing against the room's doorframe…Lexie grabbed Mark's hair, and he smelled, licked and kissed her neck, all the while murmuring, like a spellbound chant; "You're alive, Lex, Oh God Lex! You're alive! _I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you_…"

Mark came hard against her…Lexie shook violently all over, and slowly whispered "Mark" to his ear; he rubbed her clit rashly, and she came. She shook once more against him, and her body relaxed…Suddenly, she stood in attention, and Mark was startled out of his bliss…

"What was _that_?"

"Huh?"

"What. Was. _That_?"

"Lex, I…"

"You practically _raped_ me!"

"No I didn't!"

"What's _wrong_ with you? You've been _weird_ since the plane."

"I…I love you, Lex."

"What about Julia?"

"Lex, I don't love Julia…She's nice…but…She's not _you_."

"Mark, you need to go now, please go to your room…I need to clear my head and _think_."

"Lexie, please, don't send me away"

"Mark, I can't think with you here, OK? With you looking all…all… tall and gorgeous!"

"Gorgeous, huh?"

"Oh _shut up_, you pig!" she smiled.

"Lex?"

"Yes?"

"Please let me stay."

"OK"

He told her that night, of course. He told her about the horrible nightmare amidst the trees and birdsong; about their tearful goodbye, about her…death…And his despair…

"I'm sorry, Mark"

"I lost you, you know? I didn't want to live without you, Lexie."

"I love you, Mark Sloan"

"I know. I'm an infection, and you can't sleep or eat, right?"

"Shut up! Pig." She smiled.

"You love me"

"You're lucky, old man."

"I know."

* * *

Days passed. Then months. Then, _years_. Lexie was happy. Mark was happy…Under Derek's tutelage, Lexie became a fine neurosurgeon, and eventually was named Vice-Chair of Neurosurgery under Derek. They didn't have children, but with Zola and Sofia in their life, family life somehow felt full; fulfilled. He was _whole_ again. He was…

_Damn_. He was hearing those damned _birds_ again. That damned Birdsong…_No, No please God…_He was still in the woods, he was hearing birdsongs, and that damn helicopter…And Lexie was dead, dead and gone. "Get him to the helicopter!" Mark heard. Was that…_Burke? Burke? What is he doing here? _Suddenly, Mark heard Preston Burke say: "She has a pulse, Cristina! She has a _pulse, start ACLS NOW!"_


	2. Chapter 2

Part Two: _**The Lady of Shalott**_

_On either side the river lie_

_Long fields of barley and of rye_

_That clothe the world and meet the sky;_

_And through the field the road runs by_

_To many-towered Camelot;_

_And up and down the people go,_

_Gazing where the lilies blow_

_Round an Island there below,_

_The Island of Shalott._

_Willows whiten, aspens quiver,_

_Little breezes dusk and shiver_

_Through the wave that runs for ever_

_By the Island in the river_

_Flowing down to Camelot,_

_Four gray walls, and four gray towers,_

_Overlook a space of flowers,_

_And the silent isle embowers_

_The Lady of Shalott…_

_Hmmm…How the heck did the rest of it go? _Lexie thought, frustrated with her surprisingly faulty recollection…_Don't I have an eidetic memory, for goodness sakes? Hmm… Where the heck am I? I wonder?…_Lexie found herself surrounded by a thick layer of mists as far as her eyes could see…_Am I in a…boat? What is this place? Hmm…An island?…Seriously?…I'm in a boat surrounded by fog near an island? Just like Elaine, huh? OK Grey, you've finally snapped, I see…You're bonkers, delirious…You've gone seriously cuckoo again, huh? Ha! Maybe Mark had to put me back in the psych ward…Mark…Mark, where are you?…No! I can't think about that now…Snap out of it, Grey!…Where was I? Hmm…the plane…There was a plane and…it…it…I can't think about this now! I…Huh?_

Lexie's thoughts were interrupted by a flash of white light, and suddenly she found herself in the interior of a plane…Derek was trying to talk to her…_Derek? _"Lexie? Earth to Lexie! Dr. Grey!" _Huh? _"Are you finally with us, Dr. Grey?"…_Yes?_…"Good. We've arrived. Why don't you wake up Sleeping Beauty over there? We're gonna be late!", said Derek, pointing towards Mark, who seemed asleep, but somehow restless…Derek turned around and stepped off the plane.

Lexie looked at Mark…_I guess we're in Boise. But I thought…No, I can't think about that now…What's wrong with Mark? He looks like hell! Hmm…I guess he's having a dream?…Something about trees? And, what? Birds? And helicopters? What?…Hmm...I'm glad, actually. I'm sure glad I'm not the only one who can't sleep…Blah! He's probably having a dream about a picnic with his precious Julia…Julia…Ha! I hate her…Sorry, but there it is…She's nice, but I hate her…"Thank you for your candor"…"Thank you for your candor"? I mean, who the heck even says that? Jeez! God damn you, Mark Sloan!_

"Mark, the plane's here! We're in Boise…"

"Lex?"

"Mark, you were having some sort of dream...I heard you whimpering"

"Lexie?"...

* * *

"Cristina, she has a _pulse_! Start _ACLS NOW!_" Burke was shouting.

_Who has a pulse?_, Mark suddenly thought. _Mer was OK, I guess…she looked OK. Cristina is obviously OK if she's doing ACLS on someone…Obviously not Derek or me…And Lexie is…she's…Lex…I…I can't think about that now…What is Burke even doing here?…So…Arizona?…No!…Oh no, Callie!…Poor Callie…_

"Burke! Derek!…What's happening?"

"Mark, try not to talk, OK? You're in shock…"

"Arizona?"

"Well, truth be told, I'm in shock too, you know?"

"You're OK?" said Mark, incredulously.

"Yes? I think?"

"Why is Burke here?"

"Burke?"

"That voice…"

"You mean the FEMA surgeon guy?"

"Huh?"

"He's the head of the FEMA rescue team Owen and Boise Memorial put together…"

"Burke...He used to work in Seattle Grace…He was going to marry Cristina, but got cold feet at the end…"

"_Seriously?_"

"Yep…Uh…Arizona?"

"So I guess I'm not Robbins anymore, huh?"

"Please…"

"Yes?"

"Who has a pulse, who are they working on?"

"Mark, try to stay calm."

"Calm? Huh?"

"Eh…Lexie…she…Mark…they found her with a pulse; Burke found a pulse."

"_No_. I…she was _dead_. I saw it, she was dead, she died in front of me…dead…Lexie…"

"Mark, stay calm"

"Lex…" Mark whimpered

"Cristina and the guy you call Burke are working on her…"

_Lexie is alive? Alive?_ He had just seen her, smelled her, made love to her…they were happy and…_No…No! _That was a foolish dream, a hallucination; just like this one…_Dead. _Mark cried bitterly. Arizona sighed in resignation.

* * *

Mark woke up in a pristine hospital room. It would appear he was back at Seattle Grace…"Mark?" He looked up; it was Teddy…

"It was touch and go for a while, but you're going to be just fine, Mark"

_Fine? I'm never going to be fine. For a second, a fraction of an instant, I thought this was a horrible nightmare and I was back with Lexie…inside Lexie, kissing Lexie, laughing and dreaming with Lexie…But it was a lie. A foolhardy hope…Never, never, never…she was gone…dead and cold…like that dark dank hole where he had left her…and…_

"Lexie is stable." said Teddy.

"Lexie? Lexie is dead…dead"

"Nope. That Preston Burke guy from FEMA and Cristina worked on her after finding a pulse…"

"I'm hallucinating again…"

"_Again?_ No, Mark, No!"

"She's dead"

"_No_."

"No?" said Mark, finally with some faint hope.

"You have to understand, she had severe internal injuries, which we've stabilized, for the most part. We had to concentrate on keeping her alive and preserving what was essential, so out went the unessential organs: cholecystectomy, appendectomy and splenectomy were all done. She lost both her legs with compartment syndrome and severe crush injuries and she lost her left arm…_but…_we managed to save her pelvis and her pelvic organs… her bowel is intact, and her kidneys are working…liver looks OK… and her spine! her spine is intact, not severed. Her right arm is fine. She didn't have any severe injuries above her T10 spinal level...Her heart and her lungs are fine, fine and strong; it's what kept her alive"

"She's alive." Mark sighed.

"_Yes_."

"Thank you…" Mark was overwhelmed.

"Thank everyone! Everyone was in there! Owen, me, Bailey, Cristina, Webber, Callie and that Burke guy. He's very good, you know. Karev, Jackson and Meredith threatened to beat down the door of the OR, so that we would let them in...Even Derek! He of the broken, bleeding hand...heh...but _obviously_ they couldn't have possibly been in there…Mark…I…I have to go…"

"Why?"

"I don't work here anymore…I know…_Crazy!_ Owen flew me down here with emergency privileges so I could work on you guys both…"

"Can…Can I see her?" said Mark in a small voice.

"Are you crazy?" said Derek, now entering the room, "perhaps in two or three _weeks; _when you're well enough to get out of that bed…"

* * *

The days had passed for Mark in excruciatingly slow fashion…But _finally_ he was looking at her…_So frail, so vulnerable, so thin, so pale…_Mark thought for an agonizing instant that she was dead, but then he exhaled a sigh of relief after noticing that she was breathing fine on her own. It was then he noticed the figure of Thatcher Grey, sitting beside Lexie's bed…

"Mr. Grey?"

"Um?"

"Mr. Grey?"

"Ah! Hmm. Lexie's guy, right? Yes? You were her boyfriend?"

"Yes…"

"I heard you had it bad in the accident…I'm sorry"

"I…I thought she was…I tried to help her…I…"

"Please, don't worry, eh, Mark? Right?"

"I should have known she was alive! I…I left her there! I left her in that dark hole!"

"It's not your fault…"

"The hell it isn't! I…"

Lexie's lips began to quiver and move…

"Lex?"

"Honey?"

Lexie spoke haltingly…

"Mark…"

"Lex?"

"Honey?"

"What. Was. _That?"_

"Huh?"

"You practically _raped_ me!"

"Huh?"

"Honey?"

"What about Julia?"…Lexie was restless…"Oh _shut up_, you pig!"…"You're lucky, old man"…"Finally! I'm a certified Neuro _God_!"..."Well, are we getting _hitched_, or what?"..."Mark, where did everyone go?"..."Mark?"…_I'm scared_…_I'm falling back, I need to hold on...hold on…Mark…Mark…Mark!…I...I...am..._

"_There she weaves by night and day, a magic web with colours gay, she has heard a whisper say, a curse is on her if she stay, to look down to Camelot…"_

"It's Tennyson"

"What?"

"Tennyson, her favorite poet…whenever she was scared, whenever she felt lost, she began to quote him, Heh. She knew his entire poems by heart by the time she was _ten_. She has an eidetic memory, you know? She was such a foolish, romantic girl as a child! I guess she still is…"

"_But in her web she still delights, to weave the mirror's magic sights, for often through the silent nights, or when the moon was overhead, came two young lovers lately wed; "I'm half-sick of shadows" said the Lady of Shalott…"_

Lexie stopped, and sighed happily. Mark held her hand. Lexie woke up with a start.

"Dad?"

"Lexie honey?"

"Dad!"

"Lex!"

"Hi! I…I…I think there was…there's been an accident, huh?"

"Yes honey. don't you remember?"

"Nope. I remember I was in a plane…I…I have a headache…Where…Where is Meredith?"

"I'll get her, I'll be right back, hon."

"Lex" said Mark

"Yes?" said Lexie in a puzzled voice

"I love you."

"Who are you?" Lexie's eyes were somewhat unfocused…"Ah! Dr. Sloan? Dr. Sloan, yes?"

Mark looked at Lexie, somewhat dumbfounded.

"Dr. Sloan, why are you holding my hand?"


	3. Chapter 3

Part Three: _**My Beautiful, little Cylon**_

It was pretty _hilarious_, really. The Girl with the Eidetic Memory had forgotten about him. _Well, not completely_, Mark thought. _I'm back to being "Dr. Sloan" for her_. Dr. Sloan…What a cruel joke! Mark had forbidden everyone from talking about it with Lexie. It was best not to relive the past…She was doing so well now, physically and psychologically, after a minor bout with depression. Reliving all that was just going to dredge up old wounds, old hurts; what purpose could it possibly serve? His own selfish needs? _I never deserved her in the first place_…_She's better off without old silly me and my hang-ups._ _What a girl she is! What strength! What a woman! My beautiful, gorgeous Lexie_. Only one arm and she was _still_ a surgeon. Sure, she couldn't do any Neuro or Cardio, and she could only operate using Webber's Da Vinci robot, _but she's still a surgeon, damn it all to hell! What a gal! _Two years. Two years of rehab after those injuries and she was back doing surgeries…_My Lexie…the toughest gal around…Only she isn't my Lexie anymore, is she? _She had survived, and even thrived; _and_ he had lost her…

Alexandra Caroline Grey had always secretly enjoyed feeling like the smartest person in the room...and most of the time, she was right. However, Lexie recently had developed a sneaking suspicion, coming on particularly strongly in the last couple of months, that she'd forgotten something _terribly_ important. It was a new experience for her, really, eidetic memory and all… She'd asked Derek, and he'd changed the subject to how well she had been doing with his "Robo toys"; she'd asked Meredith, and she'd changed the subject to whether she felt up to babysitting Zola again; she'd asked Arizona, and she'd changed the subject to whether she felt up to babysitting Sofia again; she'd asked Callie, and she'd simply uttered "I have to find Mark" and promptly fled her presence; she'd asked Jackson, who had said that "It isn't my place to say."…_What the frak was going on?_ "You have to recover at your own pace" Derek reminded her, "Some brain trauma patients never recover the whole of their memories; lucky for you, your memory is remarkable."…"But I didn't hit my head, Derek!" … "Lexie, your body shut down for a while, trying to conserve oxygen; some brain trauma _did _occur, OK? but I'd say you're 97-98% back; you're lucky, Lexie."

_What don't I remember? Hmm…Well, everything around the accident is still quite fuzzy, I don't even remember getting in the plane! What else? Something I said to someone about an infection? Huh? Being infected? Infected with…someone…a person…a guy?…That doesn't even make sense! I'm not involved with anyone, I guess? Right? I mean everyone agrees I was single at the time of the accident, right? I had broken up with Jackson…Why did I break up with Jackson? Hmmm…He won't talk about it…Julia? Who the heck is Julia? Hmm. I guess I hate her? Right! I hate Julia! I've remembered something else! Way to go, Grey! Wait, did Jackson sleep with this Julia woman? Hmm...I seem to remember most of everything OK, I guess. Boston, check. Harvard, check, George and the first year in Seattle and that ratty apartment, check. Go Lexie! What else? Shooting…Karev, argh; Jackson…Who the heck is Julia? Sloan…great surgeon, what did they used to call him? McSteamy? Ha! He's easy on the eyes all right…Nucleic acids…check, periodic table…check…quadratic equations…Hmm…check! Lady of Shalott…check! Romantic Poetry? Check! Buffy the Vampire Slayer, check! Battlestar Galactica? Check! Go, Grey go! Eidetic memory is the best! Wait…Wait just one second…Sloan…Sloan? What's been going on with him the last couple of years?…All I can remember of him is from a while back! I guess we're not really all that close, but, still…what could that possibly mean? Ahh! Why can't I remember! Work brain, work!_

Lexie's therapy had proceeded apace. Even though she had lost three limbs, her spine and spinal reflex pathways were intact, her pelvis had been reconstructed by Callie, her Lexipedia brain was almost up to speed again (except for the issue of Mark Sloan apparently), and…let's face it, she was still pretty. Not that she was vain or anything, you understand; she had never considered herself to be remarkably beautiful or anything, really…Cute, yes, maybe even pretty…But gorgeous? Beautiful?…Not really…Still, she was glad that the accident had left her facial features largely intact. Lexie had seen what Body Dysmorphic Disorder had done to some patients post facial trauma and reconstruction, and she was certainly glad not to have dealt with any of _that_. Remarkably, she still had her uterus. She was thankful for that, really; not that she wanted to _have_ children, you know, or even really had any immediate prospects in that regard, because, let's face it, who would want to go out with the Legless Wonder? She had opted for metal artificial limb attachments instead of the more "flesh-like" porcelain and plastic cosmetic ones…In her opinion those made her look and feel like a lifeless rag doll; an imitation of a human being. At least with the metal attachments she could still get around (thanks to Derek's ingenuity) and she could have the illusion of them being merely "fancy-looking crutches." Besides, the metal attachment for her upper left limb was better for operating the Da Vinci robot anyway…Thank god for Dr. Webber's expensive extravagance! Telemedicine and robotic surgery were the future of Surgery; it's not like with time they wouldn't have fancier and fancier gadgets for remote-control surgeries…

Lexie _loved_ the Mini-Scooter…It was magnetized, you see; apparently Derek had come up with the concept with some help from Dr. Sloan… so when she wore her metal limbs they attached to the magnetized Scooter and she could just _glide_ over through rounds in the Hospital. It didn't hurt that both Zola and Sofia loved riding the Mini-Scooter…Lexie felt _much_ more human hearing their squeals of delight as she glided through the halls…And when she wasn't wearing her upper limb attachment, there was "Rob", of course. Apparently, Dr. Sloan had read about reported cases in England of stroke victims that could not use their arms or limbs, but were able to operate robotic arms remotely _only_ _using their thoughts, _and also attached electrodes_. _Derek had laughed, and thought of it as a rather dubious prospect until he saw a demonstration of the concept arranged by Dr. Sloan and a visiting Neurophysiology Fellow from Oxford. "Rob" had thus been born. _My Lexipedia brain again coming to my rescue! Heh! And Dr. Sloan...I suppose. _"Rob" had freaked everyone out just a little bit; that is, until Karev had taken a habit of calling her "Robot Girl" as a joke. Everyone laughed, and they moved on.

The matter of the mysterious Dr. Sloan continued to elude Lexie; he, as well as everyone else, studiously avoided the subject. _What could be so awful?_ Lexie thought. _We didn't get along? Was he abusive? Maybe he hates me...Nah, he doesn't hate me...Maybe he feels guilty about something?...I hate Julia…Hmm…That was a rather random thought, wasn't it? Hmm...There must be a weak link in the chain somewhere? Who's the weakest link? Who could I crack so they finally give me some freakin' info? Hmm...Alex Karev! Yep, it has to be Karev...Argh, Karev._

* * *

"Alex?"

"Umm" said Karev, slurping some cafeteria spaghetti.

"Did something happen between Dr. Sloan and me?"

"Huh?"

"Was there something between Dr. Sloan and me, from before?"

"Why don't you ask him, Lex?"

"He's always avoiding me! It _bugs the hell_ out of me and it's certainly suspicious…"

"It's not my place"

"You're going to go the Jackson route? Please, you honed your skills as an old gossip at the feet of Mer and Cristina, you're an old hat at this! Please, Alex"

"Well, you were _kind_ of a slut, you know…"

"WHAT!" everyone in the cafeteria began to stare…

"Well, you know, first you went with George…"

"I didn't sleep with George!"

"No?"

"No!"

"Weren't you, hmm, kinda living with him?"

"We were friends"

"Well, _whatever_"

"We were just friends!"

"Whatever. You went after me…"

"_I_ went after _you_?"

"Then Jackson…"

"Hmph!"

"Kinda slutty, if you ask me…"

"Alex!"

"Hey! I _like_ slutty. Mer is kinda like my sister now, you know, and she was kinda of a slut in her Dark and Twisty Days, you know, before she went all Nice and Shiny and Stepford Wife for Derek…"

"And Sloan?"

"Well…"

"I slept with him too?"

"Yep"

"No!"

"Yep"

"I did?"

"I guess your brain after the plane thing isn't so Lexipedia now, eh?"

"I slept with him too?"

"You went to his hotel room like 3 or 4 times a week!"

"We did it in a _hotel_?"

"Well, he was living there"

"What!"

"Yep."

"Oh _God_, I _am_ a slut!"

"Well, umm, you were kinda living with him, you know, you moved in with him"

"I moved into a _hotel_?"

"No, no, you guys moved into an apartment, see?"

"Yes?"

"Then Sloan the Stone-Cold Fox, his first kid, happened…you didn't want kids, you were moving too fast, you thought Sloan was too old…_whatever…_then the Sofia thing happened…I guess that's it?"

"I dunno what to say…"

"You really need to ask him about these things, you know, _Robot Girl_"

* * *

That night, Lexie dreamt. She was standing in a hotel room yelling "Teach me!" to a startled-looking Sloan (_Mark?_) who had then proceeded to…teach her _things, lots and lots of things_. She dreamt of a cold, cold night; a night when she had confessed, once again, her feelings for him: "I can't sleep, I can't eat, and I love you, I love you _all_ the time"…"It's like...you're a _disease_, and I'm infected...Yep, I've been infected by Mark Sloan…" Then she dreamt of a dark, dark hole in the ground; she was _dying_, and a trembling voice (_Mark's_ _voice?_), a desperate voice in the distance was saying: "We are going to have the best lives, Lexie, you and me. We're going to be so happy…_We're meant to be!_…please...I love you...I love _you_...I_ love you, I love you_…" the voice then disappeared into a void of darkness. Then, she found herself in a plane…in Boise? _But that never happened! The plane broke apart!_…Mark was making love to her in a motel in Boise…kissing her...licking her…loving her…_Wait, was that a dream? _Lexie awoke, sweating profusely…"God damn you, Mark Sloan! God damn you all to Hell!"

Someone was banging on his door in the middle of the night. _What the heck is going on?_

"Mark! Mark!"

"Lex?"

"God damn you Mark!"

"Huh?"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!"

"I…I dunno"

"What!"

"Well, we…we are not together…we weren't together even _then_...thanks to my constant idiocy…I…I don't deserve you Lex…I ruined everything…I didn't give us a chance…you were doing so well… _are_ doing so well, with the rehab and everything…I didn't want you to revisit painful memories…I'm not worth it"

"Yep. _Thank you for your candor_. That was a beauty!"

"You…you, _remember_?" said Mark, incredulous.

"You're not worth it? God damn it Mark! You _promised_ me! You promised me we were going to be happy! You told me you love me!"

"You remember?"

"_Not_ all of it…I remember you, ah, _teaching me_ _things..._in...in your hotel room…Wipe off that _smug_ smirk off your face this _instant_, Mark Sloan! I'm still mad! I remember my, ahem, _love infection_ speech…"

"I'm infected by Mark Sloan, _heh_"

"Don't you laugh at _me_ Mark Sloan!"

"But…"

"I remember your goodbye! I remember all of it! My despair, your despair…I remember _dying_, Mark! Don't you think I had a right to know all this?"

"I…I didn't want you to reject me…"

"What?"

"I…I lost you again…"

"Huh?"

"Back in that damn forest, I…I imagined it was all a dream…"

"Huh?"

"I imagined we were in Boise and that we were all right, and...and you looked beautiful and you weren't dead, and I…I made love to you…and we were happy and _whole_, Lex! I…then I thought you were dead again, and…and then it wasn't true...and you survived…but you didn't remember me, or rather, _us_…so, I figured…Eh…that you would reject me… and maybe you were better off without me anyway, so…" Mark looked like a lost, little child.

Lexie smiled. "You know, I remember a dream about Boise, too"

"Huh?"

"Did by any chance we did it against the doorframe of my motel room?"

"Huh?"

"Didn't we? You kinda _ravished_ me, right?" Lexie smiled mischievously.

"How could you possibly know…"

"We had the same dream."

"Impossible!"

"Oh, entirely possible, my dear Dr. Sloan!"

"How?"

"Why, _we're meant to be_, don't you know?" Lexie smiled, and then, she kissed him. "I love you, Mark Sloan; and with that, I'm going to go now…"

"Huh? Why?"

"You didn't think I was going to sleep with you right now, did you?"

"Well…"

"Pig" Lexie smiled

"Handsome, though, no?"

"Mark, we need to rediscover each other again; I need…I need to fill the gaps…just because I remember a few things doesn't mean that we're back to where we once were…Besides, you may not want me…anymore"

"What?"

"I'm…I'm not whole, Mark…"

"Now who's being the goddamn idiot!"

"Huh?"

"Lex, I'm positively _and_ categorically sure that _you_ are the most amazing, brilliant and beautiful woman in this world, _and_ the next…" Mark smiled, and he kissed her.

"Bye!"

"Bye?"

"I can't think when you're around, Mark…"

"What? Looking all tall and gorgeous?"

"_Shut Up_! Bye!"

"Bye. I love you"

* * *

Days passed. Then months. Then, _years_. A _very_ pregnant Lexie sits in Mark's lap, eating cafeteria spaghetti off his tray, in plain view of everybody…

"Mmmm…" Lexie slurps the spaghetti…

"You know, these _endless_ Public Displays of Affection are positively disgusting. Not to mention getting _kinda_ old…didn't your honeymoon end like, I don't know, two years ago?" Karev said, as he slurped his spaghetti.

"Ah, Karev, leave the poor kids alone! They found each other again!" Derek said, in a sing-songy way.

"Now you guys remember that you're getting Zola tonight, right?" asked Meredith

"Sure, we know you're on call tonight, Mer. We're getting Sofia too, 'Zona and Callie both have late surgeries…" Lexie said, slurping some more spaghetti.

"Leave me some spaghetti, woman! It's my tray!"

"Shut up, you oaf! Besides, you know perfectly well it's all-you-can-eat, and I'm eating for _twins_, so…"

Mark kissed her. "Ugh! You _reek_ of tomato sauce!"

"You love me."

"You _reek_, Stinky." Mark kissed her again, while Karev made gagging noises…Lexie slurped some more spaghetti…

"All's well that ends well!" sighed Meredith.

Lexie turned to look at her sister, and smiled broadly…"Rob", her roaming remote robotic arm, turned slightly towards Meredith as well…

"You know, _Robot Girl_, it's _still_ creepy when you do that."

"I'll have you know, Alex, that both Zola and Sofia _love_ the Robot!"

"It's true, you know…" said Meredith

"It's still _creepy_, though."

"Shut up, Karev." said Mark.

Mark beamed at his wife, who was still busy slurping spaghetti sauce…Yep, all things considered, he was a very lucky man…"My beautiful, little _Cylon_!" said Mark, kissing Lexie once again.

"You, know, once again, woman, you left me without any lunch!"

"Shut up!"

"You love me."

"Yep, I do"

FINIS

* * *

A few caveats: first, thanks for any reviews, and for reading this. This is my first, and _last_ attempt at fan fiction. I had to write it because, quite simply, I had to make Lexie live. I felt compelled that she should live. It's funny really, being a fan of plenty of shows where characters die all the time (_Game of Thrones_, _Battlestar Galactica_, JJ Abrams shows, Joss Whedon shows, _Lost_, etc.) that a death affected me so profoundly and absolutely. I could not accept Lexie's death, it felt _wrong_, absolutely _wrong_ and antithetical to her storyline as was presented to us right until the end…Fortunately, we don't have to accept Shonda's version of things, since Lexie is a _fictional_ character, she can always live in our hearts, our memory, and most importantly, our _prose_. I hope you enjoyed it. BTW the first image that came to me for this story was that of a happy, pregnant Lexie sitting in Mark's lap. I hope I did right by her. I labeled these stories as fantasy, just in case, but you know, the most fanciful element, the robot arm controlled by thoughts? It's not fiction. I invite you to Google it. Treatment of patients with stoke or limb mobility impairment with mechanical assist from tech controlled by the patient's thoughts sounds like Sci-Fi, but it's currently in medical use. By all means, google it, it's currently in use. LOL. Thanks for reading. I hope I left Lexie in a happy place. BTW I don't own anything, obviously, and Shonda owns all. Unfortunately. This applies to all three stories. They can be read individually but the intended order is 1) **Birdsong**, 2) **The Lady of Shalott **and 3) **My Beautiful, little Cylon; minor smut warning for Birdsong. Because of that, Birdsong has an M rating; the new versions of Lady of Shalott and My Beautiful, little Cylon have a T rating. Thanks!**


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